PPD - Postpartum Depression

I am a poised and strong willed person. I can never be sad or so I thought. When I was in medical school,I saw many cases of depression and always thought, how can they be so dejected, when you have so many things to revive you.

As I have mentioned it in my earlier posts, Life teaches you everyday. Shortly after our marriage, I conceived my older one. Okay don't judge me, but I really enjoyed my pregnancy. I enjoyed every moment of those months especially being my husband's utmost priority.

I was positive about everything as I have taken care of my nieces. I do not know when exactly it started but one thing which I still remember is myself anxious and scared of something just hours after the delivery. It was the same when returned home from the hospital, but things were better when I saw my family there. One thing which amazed me was, I was always exhausted or on the edge. My parents came to help us and stayed with us for 2 months. I remember hiding things from them, but I admit there were times when I completely lost it. Always blamed it on child, parents relations; because you do show tantrums to your parents right, easily camouflaged.

The few weeks later,a nurse came to visit my son and she told me that I need to see a doctor as I am suffering from postpartum depression. I tried to commit suicide many a times. One thing which always stopped me was my husband. He had taken a very good care of me and this was not how I wanted to repay him.

I was always anxious, worried,unable to sleep,lost my appetite. I cried almost all the time for no apparent reason. I do not wish this to happen even to my enemies. At one point I would remind myself of all the bad things said or happened,don't know why? From outside I was completely fine. No-one would have guessed. It was horrible-I felt bad for my baby and my husband. I wanted to snap out of it, but it was not easy, you know, when you had lost your ability to think straight and sagaciously.

After 7 months when i saw myself loosing the battle,we went to see my primary doctor. We talked about anti depressant but I did not want to take any medicine and my husband supported me for that. That was the point, where my husband took over the rein of my recovery. It took me longer to come out of it than the medicine. It took me well over a year, but I am really proud of my husband and myself and how we evolved through the whole experience.

I never discussed it with my family, till I was expecting my second child. That was almost 3 years later. We were scared. This time my OBGYN told us about many things like symptoms,helpline for mothers etc.

This whole experience has changed my perspective for life. Now I respect and value everything around me. It took me six years to share my experience. All I can say is you are not alone. There is help,just gather yourself together and take that first step,talk to someone.

All, Because ''you are special''!!!

Mother!!! 15 years back...

...........................................MOTHER............................................

15 years back, I was a self proclaimed polymath. My mother's one word of wisdom meant nothing to me, but now I confer with her on every aspect of my life.

15 years back, I never cared to embrace her, but now I miss everything about her.

15 years back, I preferred to spend time with my friends, but now I would give everything to be with her.

15 years back, I fancied restaurant food, but now I yearn for everything she cooked.

15 years back,I wanted to be independent, but now I count on her for everything.

Life teaches you, as you grow old. Life has brought me at this dogleg, where I revere her for everything. More than anything else, I respect her for the, “woman she is”!!!

I thank her for being my support system and everything else.

Whatever I am today and aspire to be in the future, I owe it to my mother.

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!

First Kitchen Garden

Growing up, I remember my parents very involved in gardening. It never intrigued me, but Hey! !who does not like rich verdure?

Thence, I decided to plant some vegetables and fruits. By no means, I am an expert. As a matter of fact, probably my level of horticulture knowledge is same as my kids .But the Internet is remarkable now. After getting some basic information and devising our kitchen garden. We went to the home depot,bought tomatoes, green chili,strawberry,basil, plastic planter box liner*,organic potting mix and organic plant food.

We wanted to get our hands dirty,the moment we reached home. My elder one helped my husband in filling the pot with the potting mix halfway through. We carefully removed the plants from their plastic cover and placed them in the box. Then gently covered their roots with the mixture of potting mix and plant food**. More than my kids,I am hankering for tomatoes. Kids were delighted to plant their own individual pea plants.***

Altogether, it was a very gratifying experience because it was our first project as a family. It was a learning lesson for all of us- playing in the soil,planting,teaching kids about nature and how delicate it is.

Time has changed a lot since my childhood. As a parent, I am trying to do my best, for my children to appreciate and admire the nature and not to take it for granted.

* I am planning to make wooden planter boxes myself. So we settled for plastic planter box liner.

** The Home depot guy was Courteous enough to answer and explain our questions.

*** We got germinated peas from the local fair, the next day.

Healthy Kids Recipe - Kale

Kale is considered one of the healthiest food .Its existence can be traced back to 4th century BC. It was the food of choice in the United kingdom during WW II.

Kale is rich in vitamin A,K,C .It is full of fibers. It has antioxidant, anti inflammatory and anticancer nutrients and is known to help with cholesterol level .The list is long,it does not end here.

I have been trying to feed kale to my kids for quite a while now. I have tried everything from steaming to stir frying to boiling. Somehow my kids they do not like it.

A few months back, I came up with this super easy recipe which seemingly they liked. Now I prefer no other way (apart from juicing) of cooking kale. Well ,I can not see my efforts going down the drain when my kids refuse to eat anything healthy.

Let me take you over the ingredients first.

Ingredients                                    Measurement

1) Fresh Kale                                washed 1 bunch

2) Olive Oil                                    1 tablespoon

3) Salt                                           1/2 teaspoon

4) Ground Black Pepper               just a pinch

5) Toasted Sesame Seeds           1½ tablespoon

Let's start with cooking now .

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. In an oven safe dish add 1+2+3+4. Mix well. Make sure everything is in one layer, we do not want to steam, but to bake it crispy like kale chips. Set the timer for 30 minutes and let it bake. After 30 minutes take the dish out. Let it cool, safe enough to be handled. Crush the kale between your palm. Add toasted and crushed sesame seeds,a drizzle of olive oil. Here you have a healthy side dish with not much hassle. It goes really well with lentil soup.

If your kids are anything like mine, picky eater, trust me they will not even know they ate something healthy.

Front Door Sign from a Tree Bark

Last Christmas, me and 

my family went to Oregon.The coastline of the state is picturesque and a heaven for DIYers. As me and the kids were hiking the trail for the Yaquina Bay lighthouse, I stumbled upon a piece of tree bark. I carried it all the way to the lighthouse and back.

After coming back home, I was unsure of how to use it or preserve it. So, I let it sit in the sun for almost 3 months as I was uncertain of its sturdiness. It turned out to be strong enough to give me an idea of making a front door welcome sign from it. 

People like me, who are armatures, who have minimum to no experience with the wood,can relate to me. Forget about seasoning it. So, I started with giving it a massage with the mustard oil, now don't ask me why I did that. Then I scrubbed it really well and washed it with warm soap water. I let it air dry again for 2 weeks, just to be sure of any mold or fungus growth.

After 2 weeks my confidence level rose by a fraction, because I could see whatever I was doing, was working. Then I conditioned* it and let it air dry for 2-4 hours. Once assured it was dry enough, I stained** it in Oak. After 24 hours,I was loosing my patience , So, sealed it with 4 coats of polyurethane*** followed by the dry time of 2-3hrs after each coat.

Now comes the fun part, writing on it. I used acrylic paint to write welcome on it. Those uneven flowers are actually fingerprints of my two delightful boys. Hot glue, two sodas can tabs behind the bark or drill two holes on either side and pass a string through. Or like me, just keep it on a table. 

Voila! here you have a beautiful front door sign. I am really happy with the finished product. What do you guys think!!!!!

*Wood Conditioner:

1. Wood conditioner is advisable, if unsure of wood type. Some wood stains evenly, others not. There are few like pine wood, which, if not conditioned can result in uneven blobs of dark and light stains.

2. Always wipe off extra fluid, 2-3 minutes after saturating the wood.

**Wood Stain:

1. Trick to good staining is standing my friend. You can never go wrong with this.

2. Always stain along the grains of wood and remember to wipe off extra.

***Polyurethane:

1. Polyurethane, lets take it like a top transparent coat to protect our hard work from daily wear and tear. Just like a nail art.

2. Always apply along the grains. They are available in a variety of finishes, which is personal and project choice.